Oatmeal

I have never enjoyed oatmeal. Not even a little. Breakfast foods I enjoy more include Frosted Flakes, granola, waffles, croissants, Cap't Crunch Peanut Butter, pancakes, muffins, french toast, and maybe some others too. Not a big oatmeal fan. Looks icky.

So you can imagine my surprise when I found out that oatmeal has infiltrated my daily life, much like some nefarious ninja (alliteration! and a good one, to boot. Should use it more often). First, after buying some new shaving cream over break, I decided to trim the the unsightly... thing... that had taken residence upon my chin. When I lathered on this new lotion, however, I discovered quickly that my shower was suddenly home to a strong, and vaguely disquieting, scent of oatmeal. Upon closer investigation of the shaving cream bottle, I discovered that I had somehow missed the both bold and italicized promise that the product Contains Oatmeal, which strikes me as a curious advertising technique. However, it was an effective shaving cream, and I decided to put performance ahead of quibbles over odor.

Just a week later, however, I was in the local P & C up here in Canton NY, trying to pick out a hand lotion (Unmanly, you say? You try living up here. I go through chapstick like nobodies' business). I ended up going with the cheapest one, but upon getting back to my dorm and putting the lotion on, I discovered that it simply reeked. Not necessarily of oatmeal, mind you, but it was not an odor with which I would ever choose to be associated with. I decided to take a closer look at the ingredients, fearing that orange peels or the like would be a major ingredient (Citrus allergy. Long story). But what should be the main ingredient? Freakin' oatmeal. I turned the dispenser over, sighing a little, and noticed for the first time that it too, proudly and prominently, Contains Oatmeal.

PS. Discussions with hallmates on this subject has revealed that oatmeal is appearently great for your skin. Still, that doesn't change the fact that oatmeal isn't my favorite at the best of times, and certainly is not a product I would knowingly rub into my skin.